For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. — Jeremiah 29:11
As I’m greeted by this gorgeous, sunny day, the familiar, gentle breeze that announces the impending spring reminds me that it has been about nine months since I graduated with my M.A. degree. I wish that I could tell you that I’ve since landed my dream job, but I haven’t. I wish that I had a glorious recap of a six-month whirlwind, complete with Fashion Week stories, market appointments, and video footage—but I don’t. In fact, it feels as though I don’t really have much to show from these last few months at all. Sure, I’ve been freelancing and have been blessed with opportunities to sit down with a few industry people whom I admire, but even that feels pretty empty as I receive “No” after “No” for every full-time job I pursue.
Although I’ve gotten pretty far in the process for a number of those roles, there’s something about repeatedly coming away empty-handed that consistently leaves me feeling a bit deflated at best, and pretty discouraged at worst. Add in the fact that I recently celebrated my 25th birthday and it seems as though all I’m left with are questions and whatever faith I can muster. Because here’s the truth: there’s no road map. My journey is my own and, though I can try to gather as much information and wisdom as possible from those who’ve come before me, I have to navigate my road by faith and not by sight. This means that, in spite of what it looks like, in spite of the numerous rejections, I have to remember that it’s all for a reason. So even if I feel like I “should’ve” been firmly situated in my industry by the time I hit 25, the notion of what “being situated” looks like in my mind may be far different than what it’ll ultimately turn out to be.
I may not know what’s in store for me at this very moment, but I am confident that it’s all working together for my good. While my career may not have taken off as quickly as I’d prefer, I can look back at these last nine months and see how much I’ve grown as an individual. And, if nothing else, it’s this growth and reflection that have helped me to get over the fear of being a bit more vulnerable with all of you who have come along with me on this journey. So, wherever this road takes me, I hope you’re ready for the ride.
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I’m so excited to share more of my journey with all of you! Join me on Periscope: @theFashion_esta and Snapchat: thefashionesta. Oh, and bring your snack of choice—this is gonna be fun.